Grouper Sandwich
Posts: 1244
Sat Mar 14, 2015 4:49 pm
I just left the memorial service of a 12 year old boy who took his own life with a gun. He was a popular, very cute, and a good little athlete. His note left behind was reported to be mainly comments of too much pressure living up to expectations.
I did not know Aiden very well at all and he was in between the grades of my own children, but they were friends through athletics. Very tough day and not a dry eye in the place.
It hit home hard as I can't imagine the devastation of losing a child. I know a few on here have had it happen and one recently.... My thoughts and prayers for you guys again.
Here's my question... Do you think he really understood what he was doing?
I would think a sixth grader would be too young for this.
Pucker
Posts: 1303
Location: Morehead City
Sat Mar 14, 2015 4:57 pm
In some instances as this I feel as if it could be the parents to blame. How can a parent or parents not pick up on the shape the kid was in. I may be wrong for saying that but I would think there would be signs. None the less its a sad sad thing thats happening way too often. I met a good friend at hatteras a few years ago and we became really good friends and fishing partners. Some on here im sure know this guy. He ust to mate on the mhc water front from time to time. I noticed something was wrong from s few things he posted on facebook and called to talk with him. Talked with him a while and hung up the phone. I told my gf that night something bad was wrong but didn't know what it was. 2 days later I got the call he had taken his life at the very spot he was at the night I talked with him. Sad sad.
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cjdad
Posts: 241
Location: Reidsville , NC
Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:01 pm
Man I hate to hear that. Very sad.
As a parent I couldn't imagine the hurt there experiencing or the hurt or pressure that this child was under to do that.
Prayers for the family and friends of this child.
rockhound
Posts: 985
Location: wilmington
Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:10 pm
This stuff happens waaaay to often.The pressure teachers,coaches,parents,etc.Put on children nowadays is just outta control.I can remember when my son was in school he would get sick from the pressure of school work and whatnot.At 12 yrs old,I dont think he really understood the end,Is in fact the end.Its just terrible.
Noworries79
Posts: 565
Location: Winterville/Pamlico Sound/Atlantic Ocean
Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:17 pm
Depression is a terrible and dangerous thing. From the outside it seems like it's not a big deal and for most of us we could get over tough situations. I'm sure it is much different for those affected.
Prayers to all who knew that young man.
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aftergolf
Posts: 2231
Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:46 pm
The real problem is if kids don't excel in high school the chances of getting into a good university with a degree that will not be exported is becoming harder and harder. I have one at UNC-CH and one getting ready to go to NCSU in the fall. We push our children to excel and to be the best they can be and do the best to their level of capabilities. It is difficult not to push but need to know when you push too much. I think in some ways boys are more difficult than girls as they are expected to do more with athletics, etc.
My heart goes out to the family. We all need to hug our kids every night and tell them we love them!
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Grouper Sandwich
Posts: 1244
Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:46 pm
I was thinking depression or something else played a part too, but there was apparently no obvious signs. He seemed to be a normal active little boy. He was popular and athletic so there was no bullying.
When we first heard, I had an long discussion with my kids about guns...I assumed it was a few boys messing with a gun that accidentally went off.
They seem like the all American family. My hearts goes out to them.
CAP1
Posts: 395
Sat Mar 14, 2015 6:09 pm
That would be tough to carry around the rest of your life as a parent.
We all want to think we are in tune with our kids, but as they get close to, and into their teenage years, the outside influences, and forces are huge.
Heart does go out to the family.
The best you can do as a parent on a good day is to hope to teach your kids to make good decisions, and realize many choices have consequences for a lifetime. Or that end a life.
plasticpeddler
Posts: 352
Sat Mar 14, 2015 7:01 pm
Hard to imagine a 12 year old under so much pressure that suicide became the only outlet. I believe it, but hard to imagine. Just let me say this, depression is real. My wife went through post partum depression. I was trying to be supportive and all the things a husband should be, but honestly, I didn't believe PPD existed. I didn't understand why she couldn't get out of bed and be productive. A doctor sat me down an asked if I believed diabetics has issues with the pancreas and needed insulin. Then why couldn't I understand my wife had a real issue with her brain and needed help producing all the chemicals I have to make me feel "normal". Deep and personal, I know, but please take depression seriously.
plasticpeddler
Posts: 352
Sat Mar 14, 2015 7:12 pm
ADD/ADHD is real too. I used to think is was a lack of tail whipping at home. I got slapped right in the face with that, too. Without medication, I seriously think my son would be labeled as special needs. I fought medication to the point I think my doctor was about to tell me to find another pediatrician. I didn't believe in ADD, either. He's in the third grade. With medication, he has made straight A's from the beginning, plays second base on a travel baseball team, is arguably the best soccer player in 4th grade, etc. Yea, I'm proud, but I'm even more scared of what would have happened to him if I hadn't give in to the doctor. The breaking point for me was when the Dr. told me he would injure himself if he wasn't treated, and it would be my fault. Thinking back to his broken wrist, compound fracture to his arm, and the time he got road rash from jumping out of a moving car, I decided to try medication. I'm not typing this to encourage people to medicate their children, but I know there are a lot of people who don't think ADD is real...and I was one of them. Again, deep and personal, but take ADD seriously. I hope these two posts help someone.
Rustyone
Posts: 971
Location: Newport
Sat Mar 14, 2015 7:24 pm
May he rest in peace.
As my Pap used to say: Kids are born perfect, adults screw them up".
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CoastalCarolina
Posts: 2352
Location: Ocean Isle Beach
Sat Mar 14, 2015 7:46 pm
May God bless him and give his family strength. No 12 year old should feel pressured to meet anyone's expectations, not even their own. They should be encouraged to do well and have fun.
chumbucket
Posts: 2141
Location: Hampstead
Sun Mar 15, 2015 12:00 am
Oh s*&t Scott, so sorry to read this
Horrible. Thoughts and prayers to the family. Hug Jake tight tonight.
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czoubek
Posts: 2614
Sun Mar 15, 2015 9:54 pm
This really hits hard for me. I have a 12 year old and I witness the volatility of the emotion-filled life these kids deal with on a daily basis. This is a solid reminder to me that the emotions that these young kids are dealing with are very real and have very real consequences. I am so sorry for this family. I don't know if I could carry on after a hit like this. Prayers sent for this family :(
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sailfish236
Posts: 205
Location: Durham NC
Sun Mar 15, 2015 10:15 pm
Certainly puts things into perspective when you hear such horrible news about a distraught child. I could not imagine dealing with such a tragedy. Prayers for the family
Grouper Sandwich
Posts: 1244
Mon Mar 16, 2015 7:34 pm
I guess we just have to keep in mind they are children. I promise you I am way more in tune with my kids now, cause if there ever is a sign of trouble, I hope to god I notice. Rest in peace Aiden.
Hug your children tonight, I know I will.
Thanks guys
ABBuchanan
Posts: 276
Sun Apr 12, 2015 8:10 am
Very sad.
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Boatzilla
Posts: 78
Location: Hampstead, NC
Sun Apr 12, 2015 2:23 pm
Youth, emotion and mistakes can happen to any family. Prayers to the parents and family.
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WeekendHOOKER
Posts: 1567
Location: Wendell NC
Sun Apr 12, 2015 3:48 pm
This is very sad. I cannot understand why something like this can come to a place where someone (parents..teachers..friends) would not know about it and do something. So sorry for the loss...I'm not sure how any parent could go through this sanely.
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pelagicsplease
Posts: 126
Location: north central nc
Mon Apr 13, 2015 9:57 pm
Very sad news. I cant imagine the pain of losing a child although my neighbor lost a grown daughter week before last. And my grandmother lost two sons a grandson and 5 siblings in her life and honestly she had to be one of the strongest people I have ever known. I have a son that turned 16 recently and is a couple weeks from his drivers license and of course im already worried. A couple years ago after hearing of a tragic suicide , I tried to explain to him that no matter what happened in his life or what he did that he was loved and could talk to his mom and me about anything and that suicide was "A PERMANENT FIX FOR A TEMPORARY PROBLEM" and to please come to us with any problem he had no matter how bad he thought it was. Child suicide especially tragic. thoughts and prayers sent to the family and friends !!
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